A little bit personal but i think it'd be great for you (whoever you are) to read.

Writing this with blurred eyes due to stingy eyelash serum + tears (seriously considering changing eyelash serum product)

I've realized this since long time ago but i would like to formally write this somewhere as a personal keep and self reminder. I realize the reason why it's hard for me to open up to people about my feelings is because; people don't really feel what i feel, hence, they don't really have a clear idea of how things affect and make us feel. And they dont have to. They arent obliged to do so. This is a clear concept that i've come to term with and have been living with for few years now.

But, even though ive come to term with it, it still hurts whenever people neglected and invalidated my feeling whenever i tried to open up. Because you know, no matter how clear the concept is to me, from time to time, there are moments where i feel overwhelmed by abundance of feelings, so that i decided to brave myself to let these feelings be known to others, to just let it out of my system for once, which only end up with regret and disappoinment.

This is a useless kind of wish but i really hope people don't tell others what to feel. I feel what i feel and i think it through. I replayed the scene over and over again and i also think it through logically, "was it right for me to feel that way, or was i just being too sensitive?". I think things through to decide whether my feelings were valid. And let me tell you, if the same thing happen twice or thrice, and it still hurt each time, despite me gaslighting myself everytime things pain me, then i'm feeling right. Even now, when i'm writing "i'm feeling right", i feel like it's not right for me to write it that way and it's insensitive of me to feel lol.

But anyway, this is a pointless kind of post, just want to make this little space become a place where i can freely tell what i feel. It's pointless because like what i've wrote in the second paragraph of this post, it's not people obligation to truly feel what i feel, so it's no one to blame. This is only a reminder kind of post, to lessen the disappoinment and the pain i'm having and might have in the future.