drifted apart. away.

"People change, feelings change. It doesn't mean that the love once shared wasn't true and real. It simply just means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart."

Hard to admit but we've drifted apart.

Relationship change. People change. 

There's a significant drop in number of relationship left in my life once I hit 20s. I'm at the point of being depressed about the drastic change in my relationship with the remaining people in my life. Maybe depressed is a strong word, but still, it kind of eats me up these days.

I'm fully aware that this kind of situation, as much as it can be controlled, is still out of our control. We may put in full endeavor into the relationship but end up receiving less from the other party, and we can't help but feel let down by the situation. Self-reminder; it is not their fault for giving us less than our expectation, it is ours to even dare to expect something in return for our own feeling. They don't owe us anything. 

I know one friend who used to be an all-out type of friend when it comes to friendship. She tends to give the most to her surrounding, or at least her dearest friends. But one day she realized that there's no point of doing the most, when people only end up taking the most for granted.

Well, it is easier said than done. Still, people are a ball of hope and expectation. We can't help but wish to get the exact same effort in return. We can't help but feel disappointed when things aren't going our way, same goes to relationship, but here to remind you and myself once again: don't blame no one for the disappoinment, even though you probably need someone to be your emotional garbage dump. In the end, we can't force someone to change, to feel, to be something we imagined them to be, and neither can someone force to change us. It's human sole choice to be what they are and to feel what they feel.

But one thing I know for sure is that relationship takes great effort, whether we like it or not. For reference, I don't really like the extra effort I have to give to maintain this thing called relationship, it's tiring really, but it's something that worth to go through if I want to keep the remaining people around me to stay and keep the relationship alive.

No mention but I want to let you all know that I always deeply feel sorry if you feel like I don't appreciate you enough or I don't appreciate the relationship we have. My 'sorry' might have been overused and sound like an excuse but I really meant every sorry I said. 

PS. This might be seen as a meaningless kind of post but idc i just feel like spitting it out here. It's been heavy on my mind for awhile. (and look at how unstructured I am on writing and suddenly we came to this. Girl needs a serious practice for writing, it's been years since I last post on this platform anyway)